You wake up each day, maybe start with hygiene, stretching, or meditation… You do things to prepare your mind and body for the day. For some of us, this process also includes putting on the mask of what we believe the people want to see. The question is do you recognize what’s behind the front, or better yet who? In my time as a Social Worker, I have learned that many people value authenticity and yet find it difficult to present themselves in their most authentic way. I also recognize the level of stress that it causes people to operate in this manner. Sometimes it’s hard to just be you because you want so desperately to be able to present yourself in a way that pleases everyone. Yet, the reality is that we can’t be everything for everyone and that is okay. Now don’t get me wrong, In some cases, some of us have been taught that in order to make it in our day-to-day lives we have to present ourselves in a certain way. We may Code-Switch to protect our needs and culture. Or we use our “telephone voice”, smiling and greeting the customer even when we feel crappy, or completely ignoring what we have going on in our day-to-day in order to be able to do the job that’s in front of us.
I like to call these survival tactics.
What is the worst that could possibly happen by owning what you’re feeling and the moment and stating it out loud (specifically for yourself)? I once had an experience where I had a medical emergency and had to cancel appointments and my clients being the loving and compassionate people that they are, all asked “are you okay”? At that moment I wasn’t, physically or emotionally. So, I gave myself permission to say that I was not. I owned the fact that I was not in my normal, WELL, space. It gave me the opportunity to really take time to remind my clients that it was okay to be their most authentic selves and accept that having bad days was a part of the human experience. And it was a teachable moment for me as well because I gave myself permission to operate in my humanness and let go of the weight of worrying about people being disappointed in my choices. I know that I will never have the ability to control what other people think about who’s behind the mask, and… I’m okay with that. The reason that I am okay with that is because I recognize the pain that comes along with not giving myself the chance to be who I am and how difficult it was to trust that it was safe to just be me. That was a lifetime ago when a story for another day, but I’m hoping that by reading this post you’ll be able to recognize that operating in authenticity will ALWAYS be a need if authenticity is something that you value. I hope that one day you’ll give yourself a day to just be you; No time constraints, No deadlines, No expectations of others guiding the flow of the day… just a day of addressing the needs that you have… and if you’re really bout that life, make it a part of your experience regularly.
*Sidebar* I want to take a moment to hold space for those impacted by gun violence. My hope is that you give yourself the time to grieve as you need to. A loss is a loss, no matter the what or how behind it. & No matter what anyone else may tell you if you care, you feel it, and they all hurt differently. Give yourself the grace to process and work your way through it. Allowing yourself to go through the grief cycle IS addressing a need.
As always, If something resonates and you decide that you want to access services, please reach out using the information on the Contact page or click schedule to request your free 15 min consultation. I am actively accepting clients in NC. Until next time, Take Care, Beloved!
