In the words of Lil Kim…. “I been gone for a minute now I’m back at the jump off”… I took a little break from creating to enjoy my summer and be more present in my reality, but now I’m back and ready to continue being the change…
So, while I was out I saw a post by Marvin Toliver, LCSW on IG that made me think about the difference between true self care and avoidance or escapism. Now, before I go any further I want to give the disclaimer that I recognize that avoidance is a defense mechanism and in some cases, might be considered a necessary tool in an emotionally trying situation. At the same time, I also recognize that defense mechanisms can become problematic if they keep you from learning how to address the problem at hand. Ultimately, discernment is necessary.
When I work with others to address the need for self care I like to help the client recognize the difference between escapism and self-care. I try to help clients understand that self-care is used to replenish, get grounded, and to give yourself the space and energy you need to come back to the situations and make the decisions that are best for your life. Avoidance, on the other hand, is a way to run away from or suppress the uncomfortable feelings that may come up for you, without allowing your body and mind to assess the situation. This isn’t always helpful. You must come back to it, beloved.
Whether its sadness, anger, fear, etc. Teaching yourself how to manage the discomfort in a healthy and effective way allows you to truly be able to deal with the discomfort if and when it comes back around.
For example, if anger is your most triggering emotion (meaning you immediately shut down when you feel it). What happens if you get angry in the middle of an important conversation or in a scenario that could result in major life changes for you. If you know how to manage your emotions you can work through it but if you don’t it could make things worse. Ya know?!
I know that this topic is very similar to the post I made back in May, so feel free to check that one out. However, I just want to remind you not to let your desire to escape be stronger than your desire to thrive.
Anywho… I’m back at it, keep a close eye out for this month’s blogs and as always, If something resonates and you decide that you want to subscribe or access services, you can enter your email address below or reach out using the information on the Contact page. You can also click schedule to request your free 15 min consultation. I am actively accepting clients in NC. Until next time, Take Care, Beloved!
