Have you ever heard of Imposter Syndrome?
It’s not an actual, diagnosable mental illness, but what it does is give you the feeling that you don’t belong or that you’re not capable. Even as a therapist, I experience this. I really get in my head sometimes like ” How are you, Lil black girl from Small Town, SC, a whole entire business owner out here in these streets?” It blows my mind that I’ve been able to start a business from scratch, I have people who have accepted me in that role in their lives, and I get to be the change I want to see in the world. However, I’ve learned something about Imposter Syndrome that I’d like to share with you. Are you ready for it??
If you weren’t capable or couldn’t learn from it, you wouldn’t experience it in the first place.
Hear me out. Every experience we have ever had teaches us something, either about ourselves or others. In order for us to have gotten to a point where we go through it, there was something that we had to learn, which led to a choice that we had to make, which then led us to the situation where “Imposter Syndrom” arose. There were a set of events that led us to the place we were supposed to be at that moment. It feels good when we can recognize that for ourselves but when we can’t that’s when we might seek out validation.
I believe that the desire for validation is a human trait. Sometimes we need it, sometimes we want it, and other times we could care less, right? We have a tendency to doubt ourselves, especially when it’s difficult to see the value in our efforts, and validation reminds us that we’re making the right choice.
By definition, validation is recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile. There are ways to learn to validate ourselves when we can’t get it from others. Accepting your emotions, Improving self-awareness, and acknowledging needs are the first few that come to mind. I know it can be hard to do these things if it doesn’t come naturally, but it’s not impossible. Therapy can help, but if you’re not ready for that step sometimes hearing your experience from others can. (FYI support groups are awesome).
As always, If something resonates and you decide that you want to access services, please reach out using the information on the Contact page or click schedule to request your free 15 min consultation. I am actively accepting clients in NC. Until next time, Take Care, Beloved!
